Lines That Changed Your Mind #10 “Give Before You Get”

Give Before You Get

I went to a business networking meeting this morning and it was all about social media. I was with one of my clients that I do marketing for and he wants to do social media but doesn’t really understand how it all works together. It can be very overwhelming and I understand where he is coming from. He wanted to hear someone other than myself talk about it.

The topic was “Give Before You Get.”  The premise in social media is to share something of value. To contribute to a conversation and engage. Not to sell or be sold. And yet I was surprised to be hearing this. Isn’t this really what we’re suppose to be doing anyway? Online or off?

So many of us learned this when we were kids. I come from a huge family and lived in a neighborhood where there were tons of kids. I specifically remember playing with a girl down the street who had everything. She had every doll and doll house. She had a Big Wheel, Green Machine, which by the way I could never get the hang of levers to turn. I just crashed! She had a play house and jungle gym and on and on and on. Playing at her house was like going to a toy store and getting to play with everything you didn’t have. And I mean the good stuff!

I remember baking cookies with my mom and taking them to old folks in the neighborhood. I told my mom, “After delivering the cookies I’m going to Holly’s house to play.” My mom said, “Take some cookies to Holly.” And I said, “Why she has everything already?” WOW my mom was not having it! She sat me down right then and told me how lucky I was to have a friend to allow me to play with all her toys! She told me that just because someone has lots of stuff doesn’t mean you don’t give them your time, friendship and anything else they might need. She said outside appearances aren’t always what they seem. Not sure I really understood the outside appearances thing at that age but I got my moms message loud and clear on giving. So I often gave her stuff and gave my friendship as well.

That little lesson has played a big role in all my relationships which has funneled over into my business which is the reason I have clients from 15 years ago. I give more than I need to because I want to. For me, I just thought that’s what you do. I mean I could have told my client, “I don’t need to go to this networking thing with you” but he wanted to go. I made what’s important to him important to me.

Funny when we left my client said, “You’ve already told me all of that” and I said, “I know and the guy presenting did talk about other things I haven’t told you and I hope you caught them.” He said I did but I’m counting on you to help me with that.” I said, “Of course I will.” So the point of being open and giving without expecting to get often leads to getting anyway. So it’s important to remember to give before you get.

And last but not least thanks mom for the lesson that is still working in my life today.

Tanya

Inquire Within

 We have been taught from a very early age that we, as individuals, can’t know the answers to our questions. That we don’t know what is best for us and we must turn to others who are supposed to be more educated on the matter. In times of confusion, we turn to ministers, rabbis or priests, counselors and teachers, expecting these people to somehow know what we need. The truth, however, is they can only tell us what is true for them and, in fact, the more astute of them will very often give a very sound piece of advice…”Listen to your heart. You know what you need to do”.

Every one of us has a uniquely individual perspective and what holds true for one us does not necessarily hold true for another. What makes one individual happy may make the other miserable. One might thrive under stress and the other might crack, so how can we expect anyone other than ourselves to know what is truly best for us? To find the answers you seek, you must inquire within.

The nature of the universe is one of constant change. The whole universe changes from instant to instant and we, as individuals, do the same. Every cell in our body grows, changes and dies, and it has been documented that in seven years every cell of our body has been replaced. This means that you are quite literally not the same person you were 7 years ago. Also, as you gain knowledge and expand your awareness and understanding of yourself and the universe surrounding you, you experience change. You are not the same person you were when you began reading this article. As you grow and change, what was once true for you may no longer be true now. A decision you made last year might no longer be desirable or beneficial today.

We aren’t very cognizant of this constant change because we live our lives so caught up in our on-going dramas that we don’t stop what we are doing and reflect on how we differ in the evening compared to the morning. These changes are usually subtle but they are noticeable. For instance, if you come home at the end of the day more staunchly convinced that you don’t like your job, you have changed. A belief you held in the morning has been more firmly reinforced, which means it has changed over the course of the day.

The changes that we do recognize in our lives are perceived through our five senses of sight, sound, touch, smell and taste. However, as we delve deeper into this exploration of change, we begin to understand that we also interpret our world through our metaphysical senses. Concepts such as intuition, commonly referred to as “gut feelings”, and synchronicity are also part of our makeup when we look at ourselves from a more detached perspective. When we allow ourselves to step back from this physical mass of skin, bones, and muscle we begin to understand that we are so much more than these physical, three dimensional bodies.

Many of us acknowledge that there is a spiritual aspect to human beings and we tend to think of ourselves as a body with a spirit but I would submit that we are, indeed, spirits with a body. We are essentially non-physical beings who have projected a portion of consciousness into a physical world of dualities. This explains why we tend to have such a rough time while we’re here. We are generally not expressing who we really are. We spend our time doing things that, deep down, we know are not best for us. As we recognize this incongruence, we have feelings of confusion and unhappiness and we don’t quite understand why. So, having been taught  that we can’t possibly know what is best for us, we turn to those around us…those who are supposed to have the answers but who are, in fact, only doing the same thing we are; being something that is inconsistent with their natural self.  They tell us to stay the course because that’s the most logical and safest thing to do and, besides, that’s what everyone else does. “Few people ever really find happiness” they might add. But nobody seems to consider why it is that those few do and the rest of us don’t. What are they doing different?

Unfortunately, continuing in this way causes us to do things that don’t serve us to the fullest and there will always be that nagging feeling that there is something within us left incomplete. Until we can be truly honest with ourselves and look at what serves us physically as well as spiritually, we will find life unfulfilling. Almost all of the most successful people in the world will tell you that in order to be truly successful, you must be passionate about what you do. How many of us are passionate about what we do 8 or more hours of the day? Stop and consider this thing called passion. Where does it come from? Might it be that this drive within us is an expression of the spiritual self? Perhaps this is our spiritual essence telling us what we should be doing to achieve fulfillment; providing us with the answer to the questions we’ve posed to so many others, hoping they could tell us what we need to do.

If you really want to know what the best course for your life is, go inside and ask. Still your mind and listen to the quiet voice that speaks to you. It won’t tell you in words what you need but you will most definitely be given direction. The key is to trust the information you get and then begin to act upon it.

Jason Hundley