I’m thinking I want another dog? French Bulldog perhaps?

French Bulldogs

My last post in January was yet more heartache when I sent my other baby Buckaroo to heaven only two months after sending my baby girl Sweetpea to heaven. I keep attacking people with dogs. I run right up to them and won’t let them escape without me petting, kissing and hugging their dog.

I ran after my neighbor last week and loved all over her giant solid white Collie. His name? Ha ha Vanilla Ice! He is so gentle and just will let me rub and hug and kiss for as long as I want. How lovely for me! Well I’ve always had really large dogs. I’m wanting small, something that can get in my lap. I have a friend who has Chihuahuas and they are cute but I do need a bigger dog.

So I saw a French Bulldog? I fell in love. I haven’t had a pure breed since I was a kid. I’m a rescue girl. Then someone sent me this video and I noticed the word rescue. So maybe it’s meant to be. Watch the video and couldn’t you just squeeze this baby up!


Love Tanya



I’ve had many dogs in my lifetime. I was 3 when I got my first dog. T-bone a cross between a Basset and Beagle. He was funny and roamed the streets all the time as a kid. He passed on when I was 15. Then my brother started to breed Golden Retrievers. He had a female named Asia and male named Jackson. The male dog was bit goofy but still a good dog.

My brother K.C. ended up having a litter of puppies when I was in 11th grade. I got the pick of the litter. Her name was Ajax. She was sweet and fun as a puppy. Then 1 year later she was stolen out of our backyard. She would go with anybody so not like she was going (bark) no no get away. Another heart break. I looked for her for about 6 months.

Then my brother got a divorce and asked my mom if we could keep Asia for awhile. It turned out to be about 4 years. I grew very attached to her. She was about 8 at that time. Finally my brother wanted her back so she moved to Philadelphia with him. We didn’t see her unless we went to visit or he brought her home. She lived to be 18.

So from age 22-31 I didn’t have a pet but all my friends dogs and cats were really my pets! Then came the Roo Roo (Buckaroo).

SweetBoy In an earlier blog I said that Roo Roo was found in an abandoned apartment that an old boyfriend had owned. I remember we had to go clean it up after the tenants left. I had never seen anything like this. Trash about 6″ high that covered every square inch of the floors in every room. It was disgusting. We got there and while walking through the trashed moved and I freaked out. I found one chair and jumped on it. I said “I don’t do rats!” I was not putting my hand down to pick up trash to get bitten by some unknown under the trash.

He started looking around and then I heard him say “Oh my God”. I was like “what?” He said don’t come in here. I was like “what’s in the bathroom?” He screamed “don’t come in here”! So of course I went and there was a ball and claw foot tub filled with water and puppies were drowned in it. If anyone knows about those kinds of tubs the edges curl over so there is nothing to grip on to. I thought I was going to be sick. These puppies had no chance of surviving.

I was so angry I wanted to find these people! I wanted to find them and hurt them. So I just got upset and cried instead. Then the trash floor moved again. He just said “let me take you home.” He did because I was too upset to do anything. He went back to clean and when he came home he had a baby seat in his car? I was like “Whats up with that?” He said “come look.” It was the rat from the house! It was Buckaroo! He was a miracle puppy! He was 5 weeks old. How did he survive all by himself?

Buckaroo has been a treat and had a much different personality than SweetPea. He would play with toys all the time and he wouldn’t chew them up. We taught him to nibble. Which was hilarious to watch. He would put his teddy bear or rabbit or raccoon between his paws and just nibble their nose or tail or ear. It was so darn cute! Then he would lick them like he was cleaning them. He loved to sleep with a stuffed animal. He loved his stuffed animals.

He was sick and so Peas went to see him.

He was sick and so Peas went to see him.






Sometimes he was hard to find.

I walked by him three times before I saw him.

I walked by him 3 times before I saw him. (Where’s Waldo)






When he stayed he had to sleep next to my bed. No being put at the foot of the bed he actually wouldn't go to sleep until I moved his bed there.

When he stayed he had to sleep next to my bed. He wouldn’t go to sleep until I moved his dog bed there.







His last photo on his porch.

His last photo on his porch.

Good bye Roo Roo!

17 years and 7 months old.

The End – Releasing And New Beginnings

2013 – With another trip around the sun ending, 2013 has been a year of learning and growing.

This year many revelations took place. One huge learning process was releasing people and relationships that were worn out and no longer serving either of us. I released a long time friendship that in reflection over many years hasn’t changed and has been painful and taxing. I let her go and decided that the universe would dissipate anything between us.

The next was a business partner where the relationship had ended a year or so ago because of untrustworthy doings but I had not released it. There was really no where to go since a violation of trust had occurred and our relationship would never be the same. People tend to grow comfortable over time and feel they can do what they did again after some time has gone by. This is exactly what had happened. No engagement at all was the best I could do.

Last a worn out romantic relationship. Same as above with the business partner. People get comfortable when you forgive them of their transgressions. Some big some small and a trust issue that is major is very hard to come back from. Always waiting for the shoe to drop since patterns kept reoccurring. It had become painfully apparent things weren’t changing and or no effort was being made. The kind of effort where someone goes above and beyond to make it right wasn’t happening. Time for releasing and letting go so we both could get on to our better good.

On the welcoming and new beginning side. Ending that business relationship opened me to a new business that I wouldn’t have seen or been open to had the universe not gotten my attention to be done with that business partner! It has opened so many doors and allowed so many good people in my life that allowing things many times brings our better to us.

I’m open to meeting new people all the time and this allowed me to answer a “Craigslist ad” (most people know how flaky that can be!) and met someone to do business with and lo and behold he is the son of my sisters childhood friend. Funny how the universe provides familiarity just when you need it. He is bright, intelligent and knows his stuff! I was lucky to find him and actually know him from 25 years ago.

I was also reminded at the Master Mind group I facilitate that we have been together for 7 years. I had no idea it had been that long and these people and myself are committed to each other and grateful to have found one another and remain together. We have come far and enjoyed each others growth and expansion and realize we have created a family outside of our biological family which is very comforting.

2014 is on the way in with new and exciting things happening. The world is here to experience new things and welcome new beginnings.

May everyone experience a peaceful holiday season and welcome in a happy new year!

You Are So Beautiful To Me

Goodbye Sweetpea . . .You Are So Beautiful To Me.

SweetpeaMy beautiful dog of 15 years went to doggy heaven November, 14th 2013. This was such a hard heart wrenching thing to do. She was having so much trouble breathing, liver problems and she wouldn’t eat. To watch the life and happiness leave my baby was more than I could bare. Very rare to see her tail wag and be happy. All she wanted was to be next to me and be touched. I just assumed she wanted love and I had plenty to give. Unfortunately she had become tired and very sick.

The story of SweetPea and how she came to me. I had been in a relationship with someone who had become sick in mind and heart with an ism, and in that time we found a dog abandoned in one of his rental units in 1996. His name is Buckaroo, or as I called him Roo Roo.

RooRooSmallRoo Roo is now 17 and still one of my best friends. I see him every once in awhile and he comforted me so many times while I was in emotional pain. He is an angel.

To get myself healthy I had to leave the home I lived in with this person and leave our dog. I thought I was going to die leaving someone I loved, a dog I loved and our house that I had made our home. Buckaroo had been my support and my best friend when I was hurting. He didn’t judge me for what I was doing or where I was in life. Painful to leave him behind and just go.

In 1998 I found a room-mate and moved about a mile away from where I had lived. She had a cat and dog – Yay! But neither were Buckaroo! I would lay awake and cry thinking of how he may not have food or be left for days on end. So to take my mind off that I went and looked at puppies. I decided it was a rabbit. I would get a rabbit. The store person handed me a giant rabbit and it clawed me across my face that caused a bleeding gash. The owner said “You aren’t going to sue me are you?” and I said “no, give me that dog right there.” Her name was Trixie a 3 month old rescue. I thought Trixie hmm no she is not a Trixie. A new name would have to happen. Sweetpea or Daisy.

So on the way home I decided I would bring my new puppy in and just put her in the hands of my roommate. Our agreement was that I was not allowed to have any animals. But I knew I needed something of my own I could take care of. I came home and she said NO! I turned her around so she could see her face and said “she’s a rescue!” She was mad but melted the moment she saw Sweetpea. She was angry for a day. Then it was all love to the puppy.

I was on a mission and saved 35% of every paycheck to buy a house. I worked so hard for a year to get my home. I got it in 1999 and we moved in and I still live there. I often thought about my boy Roo and one day I went to see how he was and he had been burned by a cigarette on his snout or so I assumed. I just took him. I absconded the Roo. I got a call two days later and the question was “do you have my dog?” My answer was, “I have our dog and you can’t keep him until you get it together completely!” I did love this person and I wanted him to get it together but more importantly I wanted to make sure Roo was taken care of.

He and Sweetpea lived together for 4 years. Then this man got clean and came for our dog. So with broken heart and the agreement Sweetpea and I get visits on weekends every so often I gave him back. Me and peas went on and did the best we could and this man and Roo Roo came in and out of our lives for the next 10 years. Roo Roo is still alive and loves to be around people.

PawHoldingSweetpea has been sweet and gentle to humans and funny too. She would cover her food with a towel and Roo would come right behind her and rip it off and eat every last bit. She would come back to her bowl and look around like “What Happened Here!” I would laugh and she would do exactly the same thing again except if she saw Roo coming she would walk back and eat it while watching him. He would wait to see if there were any scraps left, which there were and he would clean it up. They were funny together.

On my girls last day Buckaroo came to see and touch her before we went to the Vet. He rode in the car with us and funny she stepped on his tail the whole way there. He didn’t mind. It was his gift to her.

I miss my baby girl and her soft kind love. I cry daily and feel very broken and lost. I know it will get better and I know she’s better where she is. She was the most loyal, loving and kind creature to me. The amount of unconditional love was amazing. I was unable to have children and so animals and I seem to have an uncanny bond.

I want to thank my friends and family who’s texts, phone calls and letters mean a great deal to me. I’d also like to thank my clients who’ve allowed me to cry in the middle of meetings or presentations about their projects.

When I think of her I think of the Song You Are So Beautiful To Me by Joe Cocker. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlDmslyGmGI

p.s. My editor and partner Jason is in the hospital so pardon my incorrect grammar or punctuation. I’m good at lots of stuff but those two are not my forte. He is the grammar dude!


It’s Never Too Late for a Happy Ending

happinessMany people have a pretty rough time in life. Sometimes things are tough for so long it’s easy to think you were born under a bad sign and happiness just isn’t for you – that no matter how hard you try or what you do nothing works out and pain and suffering is your lot in life. I’m not sure about you but there was a 10 year span of my life where I felt that way – and then something happened. Slowly, I began to wake up and take a good, hard look at my life. I realized that I was really miserable and I didn’t like how I felt. I also realized that the people I was modeling my life after, namely my dad, weren’t happy either. Until that time I had considered, like I think most men do, my dad to be my role model. He was the smartest person I knew and I thought he had life pretty well figured out so I was following in his footsteps. I adopted his attitude of, “Life’s not fair, most of the time negative things happen and if you prepare for the worst you’ll be ready when it happens. If, on the rare occasion something good happens, you’ll be pleasantly surprised but don’t waste your time going around expecting good things from your life. That happens to other people.”

I assessed my priorities and realized that, like most people, I just wanted to be happy. After all, that’s the main reason people do most of what they do. I thought about how my dad lived and quickly saw that he wasn’t the least bit happy. In fact, I couldn’t see how he ever could be if he continued on the way he was. That’s when I decided I had to change the way I thought and behaved if I wanted to have a happier outcome. That was the first step toward a journey that has allowed me to: fulfill an amazing childhood dream, overcome social anxiety disorder in record time without therapy or medication, co-author a self help book, co-anchor an internet radio show, and, as a life coach, have the opportunity to help people around the world release their fears and limitations, mend relationships and create better lives for themselves. And all of that happened just in the last six years. Who knows what else is ahead of me all because I decided one day to make a change?

Believe me I know it’s really easy and tempting to say, “But that’s you, Jason. I can’t do that,” or “My life is different. It’s too hard for me.” All I can say is any and every change begins with you. Nothing can improve, get better or become different until or unless you do something. It’s real easy to sit back and wait for someone else to make the first move. That’s why everybody is still waiting to read that book, take that mini vacation, start that exercise program, take piano lessons, or…fill in the blank. They’re waiting for the circumstances to come along and make it happen for them.

The truth is it’s never too late for a happy ending to your story. The happy ending gets written when you, the author of your life, decide to write it. The question is when will you pick up the pen?


Recognize You May Not See What’s Right In Front Of You.

I’m looking into the eyes of a woman who is very powerful, very courageous and doesn’t even know it.  There are so many lost people out there and so many people who can’t see the forest for the trees. They can’t see what they need to do when it’s literally right in front of them.

I was talking with a woman the other day who I’ve known from networking functions and other events. She wanted to talk with me about her network marketing company because she thought I would be such a good fit. I knew I didn’t want to join or use the service and told her as much upfront so we didn’t waste each others time. I did say, however, “I really like you and think you’re an awesome person; could we just get together for coffee?” She said, “sure!” So we did and I learned she has a second business that she is actually a pro at. I mean she is a professional teacher in this sport. I’m like Whoa!

Her attitude was bright shiny and lovely! She told me about an opportunity she turned down for this pro business. Inside I was screaming, “You did what? You want to grow your business that you absolutely love and you turned it down?” I’m shaking my head (never been good at hiding how I feel). She said, “What?” I said, “Why are you not doing this? This is an exceptional way to grow your business.” She said, “It’s unethical.” Because I don’t know her sport or industry I said, “Is there a code of ethics that is written?” She said, “No.” I said, “Is there an unwritten code of ethics?” and she said, “No but…” I said, “Stop! We will not do buts.” Anything that follows the word but is what you or someone else deems the most important and anything before the word but doesn’t matter.

She went on to say, “you don’t go to another establishment and do work there if you are a pro at another location.” I said, “So you are an employee at your location.” she said, “No.” I said, “Do you have a contract stating you may not offer your services any where else?” she said, “No.” I said, “Do you have a non-compete?” She said, “No”. I said, “So who said it was unethical?” She started hemming and hawing and I said, “Oh it’s you!” I thought she was being arrogant at first. Then she said, “If I’m such a professional why does this other company want me over at their place one day a week? Don’t I look like I’m not very good?” I said, “Quite the contrary missy! They want you one day a week because you’re that damn good!”

She sat back in her chair and her eyes widened and she said, “Oh I never thought of that.” I could tell I had hit her with a clue x 4 and it hit hard. I grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye and said, “If you have been professionally teaching for 12 years and are paid well for your excellence and businesses in town are beating your door down it’s because you’re that good!”

She had thought the exact opposite! She didn’t recognize what was right in front of her.
I said, “You know that’s the worth voice you are listening to?” She said, “I’m so positive though.” I said, “You are like a ray of sunshine. However it’s what we tell ourselves in our heads when no one is around that becomes the stuff we tend to believe.”

So hopefully she will go out and allow others to beat her door down and she will say sure I’d love to teach you and accept being paid well for it!
As she walked away I thought about how she presents a striking outside look of confidence but inside she must have been telling herself she wasn’t very good. It’s amazing to me that we all do this. In some way shape or form we do this in an area of our lives. There are some easy ways to gain confidence and we have some great tools on our site. Check it out here.

The key to being more confident is to be aware of what you are telling yourself. Also pay attention because sometimes what you may not see is probably right in front of you.

How People Can Be Unaware of Their Behavior

I was sitting in a waiting room a few days ago and I couldn’t help but notice this young couple across the room from me. It’s like my negativity radar was going crazy! The young man was talking to his wife or girlfriend very calmly and, yet, this young lady looked and sounded like she was in a terrible mood. To look at her face you got the impression she had suffered through a truly miserable day and every time she said something to the man beside her there was a hateful sting in her voice. It was immediately apparent that she was royally pi**ed at him! And what kind of boyfriend/husband is this guy that he is sitting there talking so calmly? Doesn’t he even care that she’s mad at him? Hmm. Maybe there was something more to this picture than I saw on the surface.

I sat there, iPad in hand, trying my best to appear as though I wasn’t blatantly staring at this couple across from me. I wasn’t trying to be rude I was just fascinated by the dynamic between them. After a few more minutes the lady started complaining about how long they had been waiting. “Are they usually this slow here?” she grumbled. “Not usually,” her boyfriend replied with his usual calm. “They must be understaffed or something today.” “Well this is ridiculous. Our appointment was for 1:15 and now it’s 2:25. I’m never coming back here.” The woman’s voice had a certain angry, accusatory tone as if her boyfriend were the reason the office was slow that day. He finally became upset with her and said, “There you go again. This is why I hate bringing you with me. You have no patience and you always sound so damn hateful when you talk to me.” “Why do I sound hateful?” she asked with a genuine look of confusion on her face. “I hate that this place is so slow but I’m not mad,” she said in a defensive tone. “There you go! The way you just said that sounded angry,” he shot back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. That’s just how I talk,” she said. “Fine,” he surrendered as they settled into an uncomfortable silence.

After watching that couple it became very clear to me how some people are completely unaware of their behavior. The woman had no idea how her actions and her tone of voice made her boyfriend feel and even when he came right out and told her she was so unaware of herself all she could say was, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It is probably a safe bet that every time he brings this up she says the same thing which makes him feel unheard and unimportant. It won’t be long until that puts a huge strain on their relationship and I’m willing to bet it won’t last too long if something doesn’t change.

So how do you handle people that are unaware of their behavior? I’ve given this a lot of thought and what keeps popping up in my mind is, “You can only control yourself.” When you are dealing with someone that just doesn’t realize they are behaving in a way that is inappropriate or hurtful, as tempting as it is to try and change that person, the very fact that they don’t know they’re doing what they’re doing means you’re not going to be able to change them. So the only real solution is to maintain your composure, ask yourself, “Who do I want to be and how do I want to behave?” and let that be your guide.

Another thing that would help tremendously is knowing EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It’s a fantastic, quick way of releasing stress and anger. You can learn about it here in this FREE instructional video.


The Fastest Way To Make A Change In Your Life

“I don’t think I can let this go. I keep thinking about how much time I wasted and it upsets me so much. Why didn’t I wake up when I was in my twenties and get the divorce then?” I was helping one of my clients deal with the fact that she had remained in a loveless marriage until she was 45. “I understand where you’re coming from,” I said, “but the important thing is you did wake up and get the divorce. Now you’re free to find someone you love with all your heart and can spend the rest of your life with.” “I know,” she said with a heaviness I could actually feel over the phone, “but I just can’t get over the lost time. I lost 26 years of my life to that marriage. ” “And now it’s done. The marriage is over and you can move forward,” I interjected. “Right. Now it’s done.” I could still feel the heaviness in Claire’s voice so I decided it was time to step things up.

“Claire I’m going to share with you a powerful secret.” I said doing my best to make it sound important and a bit mystical in hopes that she might perk up a bit. “Ok,” was her reply, still very heavy and down. “This is the fastest way to make a change in your life. Right here, right now you have to fully accept who you are and everything you have done. Forgive the past and let it go. It’s done; it’s over. It only continues to live on because you keep it alive by agonizing about it. Now forgiving doesn’t mean you have to condone the actions of the people who have hurt you. Nor does it mean you have to condone your own actions if you have hurt others but it does mean you have to let go of the hurt and anger you carry toward other people and the guilt and shame you carry toward yourself.

Trust the way your life has unfolded. You were not brought to this point by accident. Everything you have experienced until now has been a result of your feelings and emotions causing you to make certain decisions. For instance, to stay in your marriage.

Never devalue who you are no matter what your circumstances might be. You are far, far more than your circumstances, your mistakes or your successes. You are a child of the Universe; a being of light and you are loved and accepted unconditionally.”

There was a brief silence as Claire processed my message. “Thank you for sharing that with me,” she said, her voice a bit lighter. “Everything you just said makes sense to me and I really like how you explained that forgiving doesn’t mean condoning a person’s actions. I also definitely need to let go of some guilt that I’m carrying around. The problem is I’m just stuck when it comes to letting go of the feelings. How do I do that?” “Exactly. That is the most important element in this whole equation,” I replied. “Don’t worry. I will help you let go of those feelings right now.”

I lead Claire through several rounds of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and she let go of a lot of the guilt, anger and sadness she had about being in her marriage for so long. Once she was free from the feelings that kept her locked in the past she found it much easier to be at peace and focus on what she wanted to have in her life in the present and the future.

So the fastest way to make a change in your life is to be at peace with who and where you are in life. This means letting go of any negative emotions you may have. Once you are at peace you are then free to focus on what you want.

You can learn about EFT and watch me demonstrate it in this FREE instructional video

All the best,


Do You Believe In Angels In Disguise?

Today I experienced just that. I believe in Angels in human disguise. I had to take my dog to get his nails clipped so he doesn’t slip around on my hardwood floors. He is 17 years old and just such a sweetheart! Buckaroo is his name and he is a Rottweiler, German Shepherd mix. He’s a smarty pants!

BuckarooThis is him with his teddy bear. He sleeps on it often. I could just squeeze him when I see this! See his nails whoa! He could be a tiger! Grrrrrrrr – I could clip his nails but I cut too far one time and I cried more than he did. I just can’t hurt my boy even if it is for a good reason. I let the vet do that and he usually doesn’t cut too far.

So we’re there today waiting to see the doc and Buckaroo knows exactly what is going on. He is pacing and keeps walking to the door to leave. Uh no buddy we gotta wait until we get your nails done. He just keeps pacing. I’m like hurry up people I have my business partner dropping by my house at 3pm and my appointment was at 2:15 and now it’s 2:35pm. I am getting annoyed and then I hear this whimpering and crying from behind the door. I wanted to cover my ears and shut my eyes and start humming na na na na na na na! I can’t take an animal in pain.

Finally at 2:50pm a man and a woman come out with a tiny mixed dog and this funny scruffy gray and white dog who was happy to be there. I said, “Is everything alright?” She said, “Oh these aren’t mine we just found them on the side of the road and the big one had wire around his neck.” I held back my tears. “Focus on the Roo” I told myself.

The doctor waved me in so I went. Buckaroo got on the lift and we got his nails clipped asap. He wanted no part of the treats; he wanted out. Thank goodness I paid in advance to skedaddle once he was done.

I go out to my car and there they are. These people who stopped and picked these two dogs up and drove immediately to the vet! These dogs had sores all over their bodies and had fleas and ticks. They paid for all the medicine, treatments and antibiotics. Wow!

I said please take my email and when you get pictures I’ll send it out to people I know and see if they can be adopted. She said they have to stay together. I said, “No problem. Let’s just make it so.” She just looked at me and said “OK.” I said, “Let’s just make it happen.” I drove home and missed my business partner. I thought, “Oh well. I was suppose to be at the vet at that time to help those doggies.” Later I thought I have a 15lb bag of dog food my girl Sweetpea won’t eat.

Here is persnickety Peas on her bed.

SweetpeaSo I emailed this couple and said can I please give you a bag of dog food for the dogs you found? She emailed back and said, “Yes that would be great!” She said, “Call me and we can meet.” I emailed back and said, “No let me come to you. You all have done so much I want to make this easy on you. I also want to love on those babies.”

I thought to myself these people are angels. Just angels! They already have some dogs and cats that are indoors and can’t commingle with these dogs. So these babies are in a dog run and can’t be inside with their other animals. But are safe and dry with a shed to go into. Thank goodness it’s not so blazin hot out!

We would like to ask for donations of money, food, pet supplies – anything to help out.  That would be awesome until we can find a permanent home for them. If you would like to donate something you can contact me at beliefbb@gmail.com.

Here are the babies that they have named Lily (gray and white girl) Lilyand

Sam (small golden boy) photo(7)He’s no bigger than a cinder block. They are joined at the hip and cannot be separated.

This is what Lily was wearing when found WireAroundLilyand she has permanent scars on her neck from it digging in.

Lily and Sam are on the mend but the vet bills will be expensive. If anyone wants to adopt both dogs please let me know. Just call me or email me and lets get these abused animals a permanent home and get them all better so they can lead happy lives.

All in all what I know is these people are just so sweet and I want to help them in any way I can! Animals are my weakness. So in recognizing this couple as Angels I just wondered if anyone else believed in Angels here on earth too?

With Love,

To Speak Or Not To Speak? That is the question.

Have you ever been in a situation where either someone was awful to you or to someone else and you had to decide whether to speak up for yourself or them and did or didn’t? I think we have all been there and some more than others.

Last week I experienced both of these types of situations. The first one was about a person that seeks my help and yet when I ask for theirs it’s a half-hearted attempt. So who’s fault is that? Mine or theirs? One of the things I learned to change from my 20’s is when someone did or said something I perceived as rude I would fire right back with a something wittier and cut them down to size. Sort of fighting fire with fire method. What I learned is that wasn’t who I wanted to be. So I started to practice letting it go. Why should I allow someone to cause me pain from my perception?

However there is a fine line of letting go and being walked on. So back to the person who asked for my help and when I asked for theirs in return was more like when I get around to it. Funny side note from my dad at the end of this story (round toit). Anyway I calmly said to this person, “How come I’m last in line for anything from you?” Startled they said, “You’re not.” I said, “Really? Well I have asked for this for 9 months. What’s the deal?” They gave three or four excuses and I said, “Those are excuses.” They launched into what they had done and said, “I am not going to compare notes on what you have done with what I have done.” I said “Well because there isn’t a comparison. You would be quite embarrassed by the difference.” (guess my whit hasn’t altogether quite left me!) I ended up saying, “Please don’t ask for my help anymore. It’s a two way street and you seem to keep running your car over me.” They did apologize and said, “That’s not true.” I said, “OK then next time you ask for something I may have boundaries that I expect to be respected.” Their answer was, “Not a problem. I don’t want to lose your friendship.”

I can gladly report I was asked for a favor of watching their dog. And my requests of dog leash, food and money/credit card (in case of vet emergency) were met without hesitation. Sometimes you have to set boundaries to move or transform a relationship. Then there’s the situation where someone else was treated bad.

At a restaurant we couldn’t get a table so we went to the bar. There was an older man next to me and waiting on his date. He was saving a chair for her. A bunch of 30’ish men came in and all wanted to sit at the bar and one of the guys was left without a seat. You guessed it next to the man saving the chair. He said it is saved for someone and the young man said OK. When the older man’s head was turned the other way the young guy sat down anyway. When the older man turned back around he was clearly upset.

I thought well  maybe the guy will get up when the woman appears? Not so! The older man said I can’t believe he did that. I said, “Did you ask him to move?” He said no. I said, “Why not?” He said, “Because that guy is a F*&%@# jerk.” I said, “Hmmm so you’re not standing your ground?” “Do I need to ask him to leave and show you how that’s done?” The older man laughed and said you’re right.

I was ready to stand up and right a wrong and at the same time a seat opened up next to my friend and we slid down and created a seat for his date. Neither I nor the older gentlemen had to put out anger or upset to get what he needed. We were able to get the job done without ever saying anything to anyone. So there are times when it’s just not necessary to get yourself all riled up. Save that energy for something else and create a little peace and harmony in your world. Although I did listen to an automatic stress relief CD when I got home. Ha ha you know just to keep me in that calm place. My business partner Jason and I created this CD and it’s on my laptop. I listen to this all the time. It really helps me to release stress at work or home, sometimes I forget what I was stressed about to begin with.

Now back to the “round toit.” I’ll never forget I was 16 at home and suppose to clean my room, do my homework or do something my dad had asked me to. I said, “Yeah I’ll do it when I get around to it.” About an hour later my dad handed me a piece of paper that was round and inside that round piece of paper was written TOIT. He said, “Now you have a round toit, get it done!” You didn’t mess with my dad, he was soft but very stern! If he had to ask you twice you were in trouble. So I did whatever I was asked and remembered that for a long time.

So remember to ask yourself the question of Do I Speak Up or Not? Ask your internal guide. If you trust yourself you will know what to do.