Goodbye Sweetpea . . .You Are So Beautiful To Me.
My beautiful dog of 15 years went to doggy heaven November, 14th 2013. This was such a hard heart wrenching thing to do. She was having so much trouble breathing, liver problems and she wouldn’t eat. To watch the life and happiness leave my baby was more than I could bare. Very rare to see her tail wag and be happy. All she wanted was to be next to me and be touched. I just assumed she wanted love and I had plenty to give. Unfortunately she had become tired and very sick.
The story of SweetPea and how she came to me. I had been in a relationship with someone who had become sick in mind and heart with an ism, and in that time we found a dog abandoned in one of his rental units in 1996. His name is Buckaroo, or as I called him Roo Roo.
Roo Roo is now 17 and still one of my best friends. I see him every once in awhile and he comforted me so many times while I was in emotional pain. He is an angel.
To get myself healthy I had to leave the home I lived in with this person and leave our dog. I thought I was going to die leaving someone I loved, a dog I loved and our house that I had made our home. Buckaroo had been my support and my best friend when I was hurting. He didn’t judge me for what I was doing or where I was in life. Painful to leave him behind and just go.
In 1998 I found a room-mate and moved about a mile away from where I had lived. She had a cat and dog – Yay! But neither were Buckaroo! I would lay awake and cry thinking of how he may not have food or be left for days on end. So to take my mind off that I went and looked at puppies. I decided it was a rabbit. I would get a rabbit. The store person handed me a giant rabbit and it clawed me across my face that caused a bleeding gash. The owner said “You aren’t going to sue me are you?” and I said “no, give me that dog right there.” Her name was Trixie a 3 month old rescue. I thought Trixie hmm no she is not a Trixie. A new name would have to happen. Sweetpea or Daisy.
So on the way home I decided I would bring my new puppy in and just put her in the hands of my roommate. Our agreement was that I was not allowed to have any animals. But I knew I needed something of my own I could take care of. I came home and she said NO! I turned her around so she could see her face and said “she’s a rescue!” She was mad but melted the moment she saw Sweetpea. She was angry for a day. Then it was all love to the puppy.
I was on a mission and saved 35% of every paycheck to buy a house. I worked so hard for a year to get my home. I got it in 1999 and we moved in and I still live there. I often thought about my boy Roo and one day I went to see how he was and he had been burned by a cigarette on his snout or so I assumed. I just took him. I absconded the Roo. I got a call two days later and the question was “do you have my dog?” My answer was, “I have our dog and you can’t keep him until you get it together completely!” I did love this person and I wanted him to get it together but more importantly I wanted to make sure Roo was taken care of.
He and Sweetpea lived together for 4 years. Then this man got clean and came for our dog. So with broken heart and the agreement Sweetpea and I get visits on weekends every so often I gave him back. Me and peas went on and did the best we could and this man and Roo Roo came in and out of our lives for the next 10 years. Roo Roo is still alive and loves to be around people.
Sweetpea has been sweet and gentle to humans and funny too. She would cover her food with a towel and Roo would come right behind her and rip it off and eat every last bit. She would come back to her bowl and look around like “What Happened Here!” I would laugh and she would do exactly the same thing again except if she saw Roo coming she would walk back and eat it while watching him. He would wait to see if there were any scraps left, which there were and he would clean it up. They were funny together.
On my girls last day Buckaroo came to see and touch her before we went to the Vet. He rode in the car with us and funny she stepped on his tail the whole way there. He didn’t mind. It was his gift to her.
I miss my baby girl and her soft kind love. I cry daily and feel very broken and lost. I know it will get better and I know she’s better where she is. She was the most loyal, loving and kind creature to me. The amount of unconditional love was amazing. I was unable to have children and so animals and I seem to have an uncanny bond.
I want to thank my friends and family who’s texts, phone calls and letters mean a great deal to me. I’d also like to thank my clients who’ve allowed me to cry in the middle of meetings or presentations about their projects.
When I think of her I think of the Song You Are So Beautiful To Me by Joe Cocker. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlDmslyGmGI
p.s. My editor and partner Jason is in the hospital so pardon my incorrect grammar or punctuation. I’m good at lots of stuff but those two are not my forte. He is the grammar dude!