Recognize You May Not See What’s Right In Front Of You.

I’m looking into the eyes of a woman who is very powerful, very courageous and doesn’t even know it.  There are so many lost people out there and so many people who can’t see the forest for the trees. They can’t see what they need to do when it’s literally right in front of them.

I was talking with a woman the other day who I’ve known from networking functions and other events. She wanted to talk with me about her network marketing company because she thought I would be such a good fit. I knew I didn’t want to join or use the service and told her as much upfront so we didn’t waste each others time. I did say, however, “I really like you and think you’re an awesome person; could we just get together for coffee?” She said, “sure!” So we did and I learned she has a second business that she is actually a pro at. I mean she is a professional teacher in this sport. I’m like Whoa!

Her attitude was bright shiny and lovely! She told me about an opportunity she turned down for this pro business. Inside I was screaming, “You did what? You want to grow your business that you absolutely love and you turned it down?” I’m shaking my head (never been good at hiding how I feel). She said, “What?” I said, “Why are you not doing this? This is an exceptional way to grow your business.” She said, “It’s unethical.” Because I don’t know her sport or industry I said, “Is there a code of ethics that is written?” She said, “No.” I said, “Is there an unwritten code of ethics?” and she said, “No but…” I said, “Stop! We will not do buts.” Anything that follows the word but is what you or someone else deems the most important and anything before the word but doesn’t matter.

She went on to say, “you don’t go to another establishment and do work there if you are a pro at another location.” I said, “So you are an employee at your location.” she said, “No.” I said, “Do you have a contract stating you may not offer your services any where else?” she said, “No.” I said, “Do you have a non-compete?” She said, “No”. I said, “So who said it was unethical?” She started hemming and hawing and I said, “Oh it’s you!” I thought she was being arrogant at first. Then she said, “If I’m such a professional why does this other company want me over at their place one day a week? Don’t I look like I’m not very good?” I said, “Quite the contrary missy! They want you one day a week because you’re that damn good!”

She sat back in her chair and her eyes widened and she said, “Oh I never thought of that.” I could tell I had hit her with a clue x 4 and it hit hard. I grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye and said, “If you have been professionally teaching for 12 years and are paid well for your excellence and businesses in town are beating your door down it’s because you’re that good!”

She had thought the exact opposite! She didn’t recognize what was right in front of her.
I said, “You know that’s the worth voice you are listening to?” She said, “I’m so positive though.” I said, “You are like a ray of sunshine. However it’s what we tell ourselves in our heads when no one is around that becomes the stuff we tend to believe.”

So hopefully she will go out and allow others to beat her door down and she will say sure I’d love to teach you and accept being paid well for it!
As she walked away I thought about how she presents a striking outside look of confidence but inside she must have been telling herself she wasn’t very good. It’s amazing to me that we all do this. In some way shape or form we do this in an area of our lives. There are some easy ways to gain confidence and we have some great tools on our site. Check it out here.

The key to being more confident is to be aware of what you are telling yourself. Also pay attention because sometimes what you may not see is probably right in front of you.
Tanya

The Key To Happiness Revealed – By Shakespeare!

secret_to_happiness

Shakespeare may well have been the world’s greatest writer. His ability to understand the complexities of human nature enabled him to reveal profound wisdom in many of his works. Most of his insight is just as valid today as it was when it was written 400 years ago but would anyone have guessed he would reveal the key to happiness?

In Hamlet Shakespeare gave us many powerful and memorable lines. One of them, it turns out, was the most important key to personal happiness. Here is the quote:

Polonius:
This above all: to thine own self be true.

To thine own self be true. It’s a simple concept but how can it bring us happiness? The answer lies in understanding that most of us are not true to ourselves. In fact, it could be said that most people don’t have a clue as to who they really are.

Growing up, we were told to act like other people. “Strive to be like Jesus” or “Why can’t you be more like your brother or sister?” Interestingly, however, these same people who petition us to model ourselves after others will also tell us, “Be yourself”. It’s a mixed and confusing message which is why this idea of being true to ourselves ends up being so hard for so many.

In childhood every time we would attempt to express our individuality, we were cut short. “Don’t do that!”, “Stop it!”, “Behave yourself”, “Grow up”, “Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?” Eventually, we lose all sense of who we actually are because we have spent so much time burying that side of ourselves. Now we present a personality that is a mixture of characteristics we’ve modeled from other people. Not very authentic, is it?

As society stifles our natural tendencies we learn that is more socially acceptable to pretend to be someone we’re not. We weave together a patchwork mask of all the traits we’ve been taught are most acceptable by those around us. We pretend to be interested in a conversation just to be polite, we laugh at things that aren’t funny or suppress our laughter if we think it “inappropriate” to laugh. We hold back our true feelings and pretend we aren’t hurt, scared, unhappy, sad, embarrassed, turned on, in love, or overjoyed because to make those things known would be socially unacceptable.

Try this. Think of something that is quite opposite your nature. For instance, if you’re a pacifist, think about being a warrior. If you’re the warrior type, think about being a pacifist. If you’re a Democrat, think about being a Republican and vice versa. Try that persona on for size. Imagine what it would take for you to actually be that person, complete with emotions and thought patterns.

It’s very foreign and probably uncomfortable, isn’t it? You are trying to be something you’re not and that is always a hard thing to do. I would say the biggest reason so many people are so unhappy is they are trying incredibly hard to wear a mask that doesn’t fit. After years and years of this they begin to forget the way they used to think and feel. Despite this, though, that doesn’t mean this side has gone away. It remains inside trying desperately to get out and the more it is ignored the harder it tries. This struggle of the natural self to shine through is felt as a sense of incompleteness or unhappiness. Life just doesn’t feel right. The more life doesn’t feel right the more people try and fill the void inside with things…cars, houses, clothes, jewelry, relationships, drugs, sex, money, food, etc. but no matter how many things they acquire they always feel the need for more. Of course if these things really were fulfilling people wouldn’t need more and more of them.

The solution to this whole issue was written 410 years ago in a play called Hamlet–to find fulfillment in yourself. That means taking the time to find who you truly are and respect that version of yourself enough to allow it to be expressed. You don’t have to be rude and socially uncacceptable but you do need to be willing to allow more of your authentic thoughts, feelings and responses to shine through.

Life is about being true to yourself and being the best, authentic, you that you can possibly be. After all, if you’re not true to yourself are you ever really true to anyone?

Jason Hundley

Inquire Within

 We have been taught from a very early age that we, as individuals, can’t know the answers to our questions. That we don’t know what is best for us and we must turn to others who are supposed to be more educated on the matter. In times of confusion, we turn to ministers, rabbis or priests, counselors and teachers, expecting these people to somehow know what we need. The truth, however, is they can only tell us what is true for them and, in fact, the more astute of them will very often give a very sound piece of advice…”Listen to your heart. You know what you need to do”.

Every one of us has a uniquely individual perspective and what holds true for one us does not necessarily hold true for another. What makes one individual happy may make the other miserable. One might thrive under stress and the other might crack, so how can we expect anyone other than ourselves to know what is truly best for us? To find the answers you seek, you must inquire within.

The nature of the universe is one of constant change. The whole universe changes from instant to instant and we, as individuals, do the same. Every cell in our body grows, changes and dies, and it has been documented that in seven years every cell of our body has been replaced. This means that you are quite literally not the same person you were 7 years ago. Also, as you gain knowledge and expand your awareness and understanding of yourself and the universe surrounding you, you experience change. You are not the same person you were when you began reading this article. As you grow and change, what was once true for you may no longer be true now. A decision you made last year might no longer be desirable or beneficial today.

We aren’t very cognizant of this constant change because we live our lives so caught up in our on-going dramas that we don’t stop what we are doing and reflect on how we differ in the evening compared to the morning. These changes are usually subtle but they are noticeable. For instance, if you come home at the end of the day more staunchly convinced that you don’t like your job, you have changed. A belief you held in the morning has been more firmly reinforced, which means it has changed over the course of the day.

The changes that we do recognize in our lives are perceived through our five senses of sight, sound, touch, smell and taste. However, as we delve deeper into this exploration of change, we begin to understand that we also interpret our world through our metaphysical senses. Concepts such as intuition, commonly referred to as “gut feelings”, and synchronicity are also part of our makeup when we look at ourselves from a more detached perspective. When we allow ourselves to step back from this physical mass of skin, bones, and muscle we begin to understand that we are so much more than these physical, three dimensional bodies.

Many of us acknowledge that there is a spiritual aspect to human beings and we tend to think of ourselves as a body with a spirit but I would submit that we are, indeed, spirits with a body. We are essentially non-physical beings who have projected a portion of consciousness into a physical world of dualities. This explains why we tend to have such a rough time while we’re here. We are generally not expressing who we really are. We spend our time doing things that, deep down, we know are not best for us. As we recognize this incongruence, we have feelings of confusion and unhappiness and we don’t quite understand why. So, having been taught  that we can’t possibly know what is best for us, we turn to those around us…those who are supposed to have the answers but who are, in fact, only doing the same thing we are; being something that is inconsistent with their natural self.  They tell us to stay the course because that’s the most logical and safest thing to do and, besides, that’s what everyone else does. “Few people ever really find happiness” they might add. But nobody seems to consider why it is that those few do and the rest of us don’t. What are they doing different?

Unfortunately, continuing in this way causes us to do things that don’t serve us to the fullest and there will always be that nagging feeling that there is something within us left incomplete. Until we can be truly honest with ourselves and look at what serves us physically as well as spiritually, we will find life unfulfilling. Almost all of the most successful people in the world will tell you that in order to be truly successful, you must be passionate about what you do. How many of us are passionate about what we do 8 or more hours of the day? Stop and consider this thing called passion. Where does it come from? Might it be that this drive within us is an expression of the spiritual self? Perhaps this is our spiritual essence telling us what we should be doing to achieve fulfillment; providing us with the answer to the questions we’ve posed to so many others, hoping they could tell us what we need to do.

If you really want to know what the best course for your life is, go inside and ask. Still your mind and listen to the quiet voice that speaks to you. It won’t tell you in words what you need but you will most definitely be given direction. The key is to trust the information you get and then begin to act upon it.

Jason Hundley