secret_to_happiness
Shakespeare may well have been the world’s greatest writer. His ability to understand the complexities of human nature enabled him to reveal profound wisdom in many of his works. Most of his insight is just as valid today as it was when it was written 400 years ago but would anyone have guessed he would reveal the key to happiness?
In Hamlet Shakespeare gave us many powerful and memorable lines. One of them, it turns out, was the most important key to personal happiness. Here is the quote:
Polonius:
This above all: to thine own self be true.
To thine own self be true. It’s a simple concept but how can it bring us happiness? The answer lies in understanding that most of us are not true to ourselves. In fact, it could be said that most people don’t have a clue as to who they really are.
Growing up, we were told to act like other people. “Strive to be like Jesus” or “Why can’t you be more like your brother or sister?” Interestingly, however, these same people who petition us to model ourselves after others will also tell us, “Be yourself”. It’s a mixed and confusing message which is why this idea of being true to ourselves ends up being so hard for so many.
In childhood every time we would attempt to express our individuality, we were cut short. “Don’t do that!”, “Stop it!”, “Behave yourself”, “Grow up”, “Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?” Eventually, we lose all sense of who we actually are because we have spent so much time burying that side of ourselves. Now we present a personality that is a mixture of characteristics we’ve modeled from other people. Not very authentic, is it?
As society stifles our natural tendencies we learn that is more socially acceptable to pretend to be someone we’re not. We weave together a patchwork mask of all the traits we’ve been taught are most acceptable by those around us. We pretend to be interested in a conversation just to be polite, we laugh at things that aren’t funny or suppress our laughter if we think it “inappropriate” to laugh. We hold back our true feelings and pretend we aren’t hurt, scared, unhappy, sad, embarrassed, turned on, in love, or overjoyed because to make those things known would be socially unacceptable.
Try this. Think of something that is quite opposite your nature. For instance, if you’re a pacifist, think about being a warrior. If you’re the warrior type, think about being a pacifist. If you’re a Democrat, think about being a Republican and vice versa. Try that persona on for size. Imagine what it would take for you to actually be that person, complete with emotions and thought patterns.
It’s very foreign and probably uncomfortable, isn’t it? You are trying to be something you’re not and that is always a hard thing to do. I would say the biggest reason so many people are so unhappy is they are trying incredibly hard to wear a mask that doesn’t fit. After years and years of this they begin to forget the way they used to think and feel. Despite this, though, that doesn’t mean this side has gone away. It remains inside trying desperately to get out and the more it is ignored the harder it tries. This struggle of the natural self to shine through is felt as a sense of incompleteness or unhappiness. Life just doesn’t feel right. The more life doesn’t feel right the more people try and fill the void inside with things…cars, houses, clothes, jewelry, relationships, drugs, sex, money, food, etc. but no matter how many things they acquire they always feel the need for more. Of course if these things really were fulfilling people wouldn’t need more and more of them.
The solution to this whole issue was written 410 years ago in a play called Hamlet–to find fulfillment in yourself. That means taking the time to find who you truly are and respect that version of yourself enough to allow it to be expressed. You don’t have to be rude and socially uncacceptable but you do need to be willing to allow more of your authentic thoughts, feelings and responses to shine through.
Life is about being true to yourself and being the best, authentic, you that you can possibly be. After all, if you’re not true to yourself are you ever really true to anyone?
Jason Hundley
Belief Busting Breakthroughs 